Slapper's World

Success!!!

2007-05-09T04:36:00.000-07:00

At long last, I can post!

Well, it's been a while since my last posting. I had loads of trouble logging in. Prob because I am a fick Pommie Git.

But I still can't stop grinning. Some silly arse is going to be paying me a visit soon and I am so excited. I feel like a schoolkid again. And yes Berk - I have read the odd book or two without pictures! :P

Got loads of things to do now - shitloads of work to be done in the next month or two so I will be going nineteen to the dozen to make sure I get as much done as possible so that I can have some free time on my hands.

Ok - better get back to it. Just enough to say that I am excited and nervous at the same time.
Shit that feels good!

Can't wait to see you Crutchpiece!

RS XxX

Christmas has long gone...

2007-01-12T07:16:00.000-08:00

This is just a quick posting as I am at work.

It feels bloody cold and windy here now. It's not that bad really - but having been in 28-30c for a couple of weeks over Christmas and the New Year, it just seems that way.

I did manage to get plenty of rest and the weather was pretty good so all in all I enjoyed it. However, I did miss some proper conversation. A berk would have been very handy.

Shit - I missed that more than anything.
This is for you kid. It's so good to see you again XxX

I’ll protect you from the hooded claw
Keep the vampires from your door

Feels like fire
I’m so in love with you
Dreams are like angels
They keep bad at bay-bad at bay
Love is the light
Scaring darkness away
I’m so in love with you
Purge the soul
Make love your goal

The power of love
A force from above
Cleaning my soul
Flame on burn desire
Love with tongues of fire
Purge the soul
Make love your goal

I’ll protect you from the hooded claw
Keep the vampires from your door
When the chips are down
Ill be around
With my undying,
death-defying love for you
Envy will hurt itself
Let yourself be beautiful
Sparkling love, flowers and pearls and pretty girls
Love is like an energy
Rushin rushin inside of me

The power of love
A force from above
Cleaning my soul
Flame on burn desire
Love with tongues of fire
Purge the soul
Make love your goal
This time we go sublime
Lovers entwine-divine divine
Love is danger,
love is pleasure
Love is pure-the only treasure
I’m so in love with you
Purge the soul
Make love your goal

The power of love
A force from above
Cleaning my soul
The power of love
A force from above
A sky-scraping dove

Flame on burn desire
Love with tongues of fire
Purge the soul
Make love your goal

I’ll protect you from the hooded claw
Keep the vampires from your door

What a crappy December!

2006-12-21T16:04:00.000-08:00

It's been a poxy month so far. I have been working my arse to the bone (again) with bugger all to show for it. Six times this month I have had a day off cancelled because of others not doing their work or they have called in sick. Fucking slackers are getting on my nerves. Some men think that if they sniff twice then they must have the worst case of flu ever and take three days off. Are all men complete wankers? This is a bit of a rant so forgive me. But I am pissed off with some of my colleagues at work. The hours I have put in recently have been a joke.

Well, now I am on holiday until the 8th of January and there is F.A. they can do about it. However, I am supposed to be on a plane now - and that has been delayed because of fog :( I must have been cruel as a child for the man upstairs to shit on me once again. Thank God I am an atheist!

I'm hoping to catch Crutchpiece before I leave. The minibus has been re-arranged to pick us up at 3am so I have a couple of hours or so. Fingers crossed here because I am going to miss her like crazy.

ok - logging off now because this is getting me down. I hear it's 28c and sunny in Tenerife so I hope it stays like that for the next two weeks.

I hope you get to see this sometime kid.

Have a great Christmas with Pete, Miniberk and Midiberk.

Have I told you lately, that I love you? XxX XxX XxX

Another day, another grin

2006-12-07T15:36:00.000-08:00

Just for a change, I have been working my bum to the bone lately. And that does not mean I have turned to the dark side Crutchpiece!

Work has been a bit hectic at times and a couple of people in the office have been pissing me off. But I am not going to let that get me down. An Aussie berk has kept me grinning a lot lately. Fuck knows how she does it - I have no idea. My cheekbones have been aching like mad. I called her at her office from the train home the other night. It was about 12.30. The only other people on the train looked like they had been to Christmas piss ups too. Most were asleep or about to fall asleep. Until they heard some drongo announce to the whole train that he goes by the name of Mr Dombrawski. What a dag. Still, it seemed to put a smile on her face. She sounds so much happier at the moment. I think it may be something to do with the fact that she has Midiberk and Miniberk to keep her company. (Whoever would have suspected that Berkism Australias runs in the family?) Midi is completely off her trolley. And Mini goes around wearing a bloody dress covered in boomerangs for Gods sake!

Feeling a little bit tender today. Throat consumed too much alcohol. Head felt it was on a rubber lilo in the ocean on a windy day. Still, who cares? I am in a good mood.

So what else is going on in Slapper's World? errrr Not much really. Apart from taking Sprog to see the quack next week. We have had a chat and I think it is sensible that she goes on the Jack & Jill. She has been with Gimli for the best part of two years now. They will not admit to it - but I'm sure they have been taking precautions whilst committing the deadly sin. However, I would rather if they were going to do it - they did it in a sensible way. Not that I am happy about them doing it at all - but I am just being realistic. Fuck it's hard being a Dad sometimes. I really feel like breaking his legs. Now that would be perfect birth control. However, I would probably lose a few years in prison and one daughter in the process.

That's about it really. Just sitting here, charging my IPOD - listening to some music that has recently found its way here from the Land of Berks.

OK time for bed before my carriage turns into a pumpkin in three minutes.

As you're probably the only muppet that ever reads this drivel - I shall wish you a good night Donna von Berk Archibald Willoughby of the Crutchpiece.

RS XxX

40 things I love about you...

2006-11-16T03:43:00.000-08:00

Your smile...

...and 39 farts!

Rod Stewart Darling lady xxxxx

Ho Hum

2006-11-08T05:12:00.000-08:00

Another milestone is about to pass in the boring life of this old fart. Sunday 12th nov, I will be 40. Never thought I'd see the day to be honest. When I was a kid I thought that 40 was an incredibly old age. I wondered if I would ever live to be THAT old.

Last weekend I was busy sorting out a new bedroom for Taylor. I ripped up her old carpet and dismantled her wardrobes and drawers. I laid a new carpet and put together a double and triple wardrobe for her (How can anybody have so many clothes????????) and a chest of drawers. It has made her a very happy young lady and now that she has a flat screen TV in her own room, it has also given me the chance of getting hold of the Dibdob every now and then. (Dibdob = Remote control for the unitiated)

The guys at work have said we are going for a drink after work on Friday. I shall enjoy that but won't be drinking much as I have a busy schedule over the weekend. Up early to play golf on Saturday morning. Then get home and get all spruced up for a black tie function at the golf club. I don't look good dressed as a penguin. Doesn't finish until 1am, but again I won't be drinking much as I have a full schedule on Sunday. We have our annual Karate tournament on Sunday which will last all day, and I have another student in a big Cage Fight on Sunday evening. I won't be able to get there in time but hopefully I will get to see it on TV next week.

Sunday night I have the house to myself so I will at last be able to sit down with a beer on my own and relax. Lovely. Probably only the one though as I will be knackered. Have a bath and an early night. I will be able to relax next week though. I have been saving some holidays up from work so I am planning to get as much rest as possible next week. It's been a bit hard here lately.

Until today that is...
I walked into the office this morning to find a big, blue box on my desk. Hmmmmmm methinks. Whatevere could this be? Then I noticed that the box was upside down so it could only have come from an Aussie berk. Of course I was correct with this assumption. Smiles all round. Everyone gathered around my desk with puzzled looks on their faces and big, beaming grin on mine!

A collection of weird and wonderful pressies. Dog is going to be chuffed with probably the ugliest cows head in the world. Taylor will be stoked with whatever is in her package. And I am over the moon with mine. Several tunes to last until forever. Chocolate to keep me going. A whoopee cushion which was used very quickly on an unsuspecting colleague. (Nearly 40 years old and still laughing like a little kid at fart noises) And a dvd to laugh like a drain at. Damn my cheekbones are aching like mad here.

Thank you so much Crutchpiece! you have this wonderful habit of being able to put a smile on my face when nobody else can. xxxxx

OK - this berk has just logged on to msn so I am going to chat to her now.

See ya!

Busy Time Lately

2006-10-15T06:25:00.000-07:00

It seems as though I have hardly had time to do anything lately. Been so busy with work and all sorts of other useless rubbish. As well as some good stuff too.

Was at a meeting on Tuesday after work. Didn't get home until after 10pm. Wednesday I as teaching Karate and Cage Fighting after work and didn't get home until after 10.30pm. Thursday - A couple of guys and myself went to a party at the London Aquarium after work. What a great venue for a party! Standing there, drinking beers galore watching the sharks swimming all around us was pretty cool I must admit. On top of that, one of my colleagues (he shall remain nameless) took a fancy to a certain young lady (also remaining nameless) and disappeared to the loo for half an hour or so. It was his Birthday the following day so it seems as though she was giving him his pressie a little early.

Not sure whether I should say, "Dirty bastard" or "Lucky Bastard"? Anyway, several beers were sunk that night. Got home just after 2am feeling a little bit tender. Had to go to work on Friday with a very sore head. The Birthday boy eventually came in about an hour late. Dirty, lucky bastard.

Friday night - went to a 21st Birthday bash at a golf club. More beers. Feeling old now. Can't cope two nights running. And yes, another late night.

Saturday 14th - got up early to play golf. Head still a little bit fuzzy. Thought my eyesight was completely shot until somebody was gracious enough to tell me that it was actually a foggy day. What a relief that was! Golf was crap but not surprised there.

Saturday was also Midiberks Birthday Downunder. I hope she had a really great time with Miniberk, Berk and Pete (Not got a name for Pete yet) and Matt of course. I believe she is going to be an adoptive mother to No Nuts to be a friend for Inigo Montoya. Anybody not in the know trying to make sense of this paragraph - I implore you to give up now - you have no chance!

Saturday was another late night. Taylor (Sprog) is 16 on Sunday so we went out for a meal. Food was crap but couldn't complain too much because the waitress serving us was a friend of Taylor's and I didn't want to put her in a bad spot. Especially as it was her Birthday meal. Everyone came back to my gaff afterwards so they could watch her open up her pressies. Mainly clothes, but also a digital camera and a new flatscreen TV with built in DVD player. Hopefully that will keep her in her bedroom for a while so I can have use of the dib dob in the living room. (Remote control). ps I am fading badly now. I have a cold and not been sleeping much so I am really starting to feel tired and old lol.

Sunday - I didn't get out of bed until after 10am. Feel achy - but it's a good day. Taylor's birthday. Not doing much today. Last night was very late. Gimli stayed as usual but he had to get up early to go to football. I think he wanted a lift from me. I had to politely tell him to "Get a fucking bus you lazy bastard" and I think that is what happenned. I was too tired - sorry Gimli.
Looking forward to tonight. On Sunday evenings, Taylor and I have the house to ourselves and it is my responsibility to come up with a Sunday Special. Basically, I have to go hunting through the fridge, freezer and cupboards to come up with a concoction for Taylor to eat. Sometimes it is exotic - sometimes it's basic. But it's something we do every week and actually look forward to.

This is the first time I have managed to use the pc this weekend. So it looks like I am too late to catch the Berk. I am gutted about that actually because I miss talking to her. She is the only person I know that is as stoopid as I am. And I think she has plenty of spare hair she could let me have to replace mine. Besides - I would think that she would have had a busy weekend herself what with Midiberk's Birthday as well.

OK - logging off now. I hope you all had great Birthday's this weekend folks.

Take care all.

Rod Stewart my darling lady xxxxx

Happy Friday

2006-09-08T15:37:00.000-07:00

Been another busy week - workwise anyway. I work for a small company. I really enjoy it though. We have seven full timers and three part timers. We have done very well over the summer which is traditionally a quiet period in our industry. We have all just had our appraisals and they seemed to go down well. We have been trying to gain IIP recognition recently and it looks as though we have succeeded with that too.

We went out for a drink after work one night this week to celebrate the recent good fortune and whilst enjoying a few beers, one of the part timers announced that she was pregnant. She had been trying for some time so that is great news for her.

We will be moving office within a month or so and I have been sorting out some of that as well as handling my own work and that of two other full timers (they are on holiday) so my plate has been rather full lately.

Spoke to the Aussie Berk the other day online. I must make a note to myself about not wearing headphones and talking to her whilst she has a bug which is making her cough. My poor ears! She was looking happy though. :) I can really see the difference Maddy being home has made to her. She loves all her kids equally, but with Miniberk being so far from the safety of mums arms - I can see why she was a bit worried. Especially as she was in the land of idiots.

Maddy, if you see this, don't worry. I have seen the pics on your blog and despite what you think - I would never have guessed that you had put on 50kgs whilst in America :P I really hope things go well with the trolley dolly thing. Speaking of planes...

I heard that Paul McCartney has decided to give Heather Mills a plane as part of the divorce settlement. He is giving her a razor blade for her other leg! Sorry about that one.

I am not going to come out with any jokes about Steve Irwin - I am sure you are all fed up with them by now. I admit to being sad when I heard about his untimely death. He was a strange character, took things a little too far sometimes, but his heart was in the right place. Please excuse the pun.

OK as Bugs Bunny used to say (or was it Daffy Duck?) That's all folks!

Take care anybody that can be bothered to read this rubbish.

Hope to catch you soon Crutchpiece xxx

Monday

2006-08-21T14:25:00.000-07:00

Such a crappy day Monday. Weekend over. Such a long time until the next one. However...

...Miniberk is on a plane right now on her way home to mum. The berk has missed her something chronic. She doesn't stop talking about Sarah and Pete (her other sprogs) - but MB has been so far away from home that I don't blame her for worrying. She wouldn't be a proper mum if she didn't. Not sure how she managed to have three level headed kids. She has the craziest sense of humour but they sound like normal human beings (apart from being Australian that is). Spoke to her online today and I could almost feel the glow from her smile down the line! Certainly put a smile on my face. She might as well walk around with a big badge stuck to her forehead "I have three kids and am soooooooooo proud of the way they all turned out". I am so happy for you kid :)

OK - other things. Had a couple of guys from our club in a big cage fight yesterday. Father and son actually - not against each other before you ask Donna! The father lost a tough fight. The son, was in his 2nd fight. He is still a teenager - but a tough little bastard. He knocked his first opponent out cold in 9 seconds. He is slipping because this one lasted 19 seconds before he was sleeping. So overall, one loss and one win - the father was frustrated with his own performance but a very proud dad at the same time. The son now takes on the guy that beat his father, on the next fight card. Sadly, I won't be able to go to that one as it's on November 12th and I have already arranged another competition on the same date for my karate students :( What a bummer!

My daughter Taylor came home yesterday. Knackered, but it seems as though her and Gimli had a great time. I can't wait to see the photos. She said that she would wake up in the morning, look out of the bedroom window, and they were actually above the clouds. Must be pretty cool. We have had our fair share of little rows lately - but it's great to have her back home!

OK time to go now. It's getting late.

See you later guys

xxx

Onwards and upwards...

2006-08-18T01:17:00.000-07:00

Well it's been another busy week at work (yet again). Doing all sorts of stupid things like trying to proof read in Polish - shit my brain hurts now lol.

Taylor has been in Italy with her boyfriend for nearly two weeks now so she will be coming home soon. I have spoken to her a couple of times on the phone and it sounds like she has had fun, but I also get the feeling that she has missed home too which I am glad about.

My favourite Aussie berk, is still my favourite Aussie berk. She has fretted a little lately because Miniberk is on holiday in Mexico and has not been in touch. I've told her not to worry - but you know what berks are like! :P Sure enough, I get in to work today and there is an email from her saying that MB has been in touch - Yays all round. Relief on her part - smiles on mine.

I can relate to the fact that Crutchpiece was a little worried having not heard from MB, but she seems like she has an old head on her young shoulders. Despite having a great time in America and Mexico, she seems to have missed home and her mum and I think that she will be glad to get back home to see her AND to have a steady supply of Vegamite and Tim Tams!

If you do get to read this Maddy - don't tell mum, but I think that she is glad that you have had the independence of being in a far away place for the length of time that you have. She is even more glad to have you on the way home soon because she is missing you like heck - AND, you have made her a very proud Berk.

Right then, that's enough talk of berks. I better go an do some work now.

Bye for now.

btw...

RS kid xxx

Just summed up the type of week I was having.

2006-08-06T13:34:00.000-07:00

Well, it has been a very busy week at work. I always leave early on Wednesdays' so I get home in time to teach. Apart from Wednesday though, the earliest I got home last week was about 10.30pm or so. Feeling knackered here. Just summed up the type of week I was having. I was under quite a bit of stress at work but funnily enough, any time that I did managed to raise a smile or laugh - I seemed to be chatting to a certain berk Down Under. Fuck knows how she does it but I really needed her conversation to keep me sane last week.

Well, as I mentioned earlier - I teach on Wednesday evenings. I normally have Caro to help me but she was in Liverpool visiting Jari's family so I was on my own. Half way through the first lesson (kids from 5-12 year olds) one of the kids was looking a bit sheepish (don't get excited any kiwis out there) I looked a bit closer to see an ever increasing pool of water by his feet :( Poor little bugger. He is not one of my normal students so he may not be back. Just summed up the type of week I was having.

I took the day off on Friday to play in a charity golf tournament. We were raising money for something called "Dreams come true". It's a charity aimed at giving kids with a terminal illness a chance to fulfill their dreams. Trips to Disney World etc. A great cause and a good day was had by all and a decent amount of wedge was raised. Sadly, the golf was crap on my part lol. Even worse was the meal we had after the golf. I spent most of the weekend on the loo after that. Not a pleasant sight believe me.
Just summed up the type of week I was having.

Just checked out the Berk's blog - the pictures look great kid. Must be great seeing dolphins out of your office window. Thanks for your help this week kid xxx

Just seen Miniberk's blog too - Good luck with the prospective job interview Maddy.

Take care all - I will be back when I have something interesting to say.
Don't hold your breath!

xx

Stuff

2006-07-27T05:27:00.000-07:00

Not posted stuff for a while - so here goes.

Not much happening in Slapper's World right now. Taylor is starting to get excited about going on holiday for a fortnight with Gimli. I gave him a friendly little slap round the earhole just to remind him what would happen if he didn't take the utmost care with her. :)

Crutchpiece has been in upheaval lately. Her workplace has changed so they are having trouble with server access. (Being Australian, I don't suppose any of them thought about turning the electricity supply on yet).

Miniberk (youngest sprog of Crutchpiece) is in with uncle sam at the moment and enjoying every moment by the sound of it. She is just about to flit off to Mexico then a bit of a tour if I remember rightly. Well, if you do see this Maddy - make sure you take care because your mother would go potty if something bad were to happen. Have a good time - and when you get back home - DO SOMETHING ABOUT YOUR GRAMMAR!!!!! It's terrible lol

OK time to get back to work - btw - Crutchpiece, stop cheating on the quiz! xxx

World Cup is over!

2006-07-20T11:00:00.000-07:00

The pain...
The misery...

Bloody lost again...

On penalties...

AGAIN!...

Poxy Ref...

Blah, blah, blah...

...Can I come up with any more excuses? Fuck it - who cares?

Oh well, time to talk about other matters I suppose. Well, work has been hectic for the last couple of weeks or so. I have not left before 7pm or so in that time and have been getting in at 8am. Feeling knackered. Had a bit of a go at a couple of people at work this week - but they deserved it. Lazy buggers sitting there moaning about being busy, but still finding time to go out for lunch, get in late and leave early every night. OK that's enough moaning from me.

Taylor (my daughter) will be 16 in October. She has been with her boyfriend (Gimli) for nearly 18 months now. She has asked if it's ok for her to go on holiday with him and his family. How could I say no without being a bastard? OK time for me to go. It's nearly 7.15pm and there is a cold beer with my name on it somewhere!

Hey Crutchpiece - It's good to see you posting again kid xxx.

Bye for now peeps xx

Cheating Johnny Foreigners

2006-07-02T11:26:00.000-07:00

Well - I did hint earlier about the amount of cheating that goes on in the World Cup. There are four teams left in the World Cup. Germany, Italy, Portugal and France. The Italians cheated to get a win over Australia. The Portuguese cheated to an embarrassing amount to beat Holland and then England. France have also cheated to get their way to the semi finals. All three teams have been diving to co the referees. All three have succeeded in doing so. Only the Germans (Who have done this many times before and also have the single biggest diver as head coach) have got this far without cheating. At least not to the extent that the other teams have.

I am cynical yes. Because as I mentioned it in one of my earlier posts - England always seem to get knocked out by referee mistakes. Everyone knows that 99% of Argentinians hate the English still. So guess what - FIFA decide to give the England Portugal match an Argentinian referee! Nothing new there then. Rooney was not sent off for stamping on a guy. He was sent off for pushing his own friend from the same club as him the massive distance of two inches.A player he had earlier said was a great player and a great friend. Ronaldo. This is the same Ronaldo that implored the referee to send off Rooney. How could you do that to a friend? Even for such a prize as the World Cup? I could not live with myself. I wouldn't be able to look at the "Friend" again.

I can't wait for the first training session at Manchester United (Ronaldo and Rooney both play for this team). I am expecting fireworks as Rooney is a tough pitbull of a player and quite frankly - Ronaldo is just a big tart. Hopefully Ronaldo will get a good kicking.

FIFA should take a good hard look at what has happenned during this World Cup and decide to crack down on the cheats. But they won't. This happens every time.

All I can say now is...

Good luck Germany - so long as they don't cheat that is!

World Cup

2006-06-23T16:34:00.000-07:00

Bugger - The bloody French got through to the next round :(
Why is it that us English hate the French so much? Is it because we see them as arrogant? When we go there on holiday, the lazy waiters can't be bothered to speak English. The swines! Mind you - how many waiters in England do you know that can speak French? Yes the French are an arrogant nation - but are they truly any more so than us? Sadly no.

However - most of them are greasy and smelly and have bad breath. And they are French! So sod 'em!

Good luck to the Aussies against Italy (Don't start me off on the Italians lol)

Come on England!!!!!!

Referees in the World Cup

2006-06-22T16:20:00.000-07:00

Well, after my last posting about the quality of referees - I felt I had to write again after seeing the worst display of reffing in years. There I was, slagging off the refs from small countries and then what happens? A bloody English Referee nearly costs a crappy football nation their moment of glory. Graham Poll has never been my favourite as a ref but in this match - he was a disgrace. He missed two of the most blatant penalties ever - then booked a guy 3 times before he decided to send him off after the match had finished! As well as booking players for next to nothing. And this is the guy that was among the favourites to officiate in the World Cup Final?????? FIFA are an absolute shambles.

OK rant over - So glad the Criminals managed to get through after this fiasco. Would have felt really guilty to my aussie friends if he had cost them the match.

Keep smiling Berk - they are doing well. And Miniberk - if you ever find your way here - being in the land of Fat People right now, I doubt if there is even any coverage of the Football over there lol

Take care - and Come On England!!!!!!!!!

It's Time!!!!!!!!!!!

2006-06-09T02:39:00.000-07:00

Ok. Time to take a deep breath. Keep calm. Don't panic. I can do it. I know I can. The timings pretty good. Been waiting for this for a long time. I think I have worked it out properly. I should be able to see almost every match live on TV for the World Cup!

Well, what did you think I was talking about? It's only the most important month in four years! How long am I going to be happy? England winning matches? How long before I get frustrated? Useless referees being fooled by Johnny Foreigner diving all over the place. We are English old boy. We would never stoop to such a thing.

Ok ok - maybe we would nowadays. There has been a trend for our boys to start doing the same thing in recent times. But is that really the case? Those of us old enough to remember players such as Frannie Lee, Rodney Marsh etc will recall that they were doing it back in the early 70's. Why is that when foreigners do it against us, we look at them as cheating scum? When someone like Beckham or Cole or Gerrard do it, it suddenly becomes clever play - Why? What is the difference? Cheating is cheating. Unless you get away with it that is. That is the real point. It seems as though for years England has suffered at the hands of people pulling fast ones and we have fallen by the wayside at the quarter final or semi final stage yet again. Maradona's hand of God in 86 in Mexico. The Germans diving in 90 in Italy, The FA employing Graham Taylor in 94, The Simeone dive and attack on Beckham in 98 in France. It's time for England to get smart. And to stop moaning about how unlucky we are all the time. Get on with it and do as the Romans do.

All this brings about another moan. FIFA insist on having referees from all over the World. A very good idea - in theory. But in practise, it just doesn't work. You have got referees from some obscure outpost that have never officiated at a match with more than 4 goat herders and a dog watching. The look like rabbits caught in the headlights. They are way out of their depth and make mistakes galore. They miss blatants things such as Maradona punching a ball off his own goaline, punching a ball into the net at a different time. Who can forget the brutal attack on Patrick Battiston by Harald Schumacher in the Semi final of 82. The guy stopped breathing for a short period while he was on the pitch. The referee was a disgrace. Not only did he not give a foul, he didn't even speak to the Assailant! Battiston suffered a loss of teeth and broke some of the vertabrae in his neck. Schumacher stayed on the pitch somehow and eventually made the difference by saving a penalty and sending his team into the Final.

Ok - Rant over for now.

Good luck to all the teams in the World Cup. May the best team win THE biggest trophy in the beautiful game!

Come on England!!!!!!!!!!

666

2006-06-06T05:40:00.000-07:00

So - we are supposed to believe that today is an evil day? Because it is 06-06-06? Bumholes!

It's like star signs / astrology. Who actually believes in all this? There are approx 60 million people in the UK alone. So, by the reckoning of any Astrologer, that means that 5 million (give or take a few) are expecting a windfall or a death of someone close etc. What a load of crap. I can remember as a child that my mother would read three tabloid newspapers every day. The first thing she would do upon opening the paper, would be to search for the horoscope. She would insist that they were extremely accurate. If that were the case - why would she need to read all three? Surely they would all say the same thing if they were accurate? Then again - she always was a hypocrite. Everything was true when it suited her. What a silly twat.

More later - you will have to excuse my little rants every now and then. I can be very diplomatic when I want to be - but I can also be an extremely argumentative little gobshite when I want to be :)

Aussie Berk's Birthday

2006-06-04T15:59:00.000-07:00

Life can be funny sometimes. It's not my birthday today - but it almost felt like it was. I sent a card and a little pressie all the way to the other side of the world. Not only did it manage to get there without some Aussie postal thief nicking it - but it actually got there in time! I am still amazed. As well you all know - Australia is made up mainly of thieves, murderers etc so to actually sneak a small parcel through and to find someone over there still in gainful employment to actually deliver said parcel - wow 2 miracles in one.

Anyway enough of all this joviality. I did manage to get through to Rizlablue on the phone (yes, they have these downunder nowadays) to wish her a Happy Birthday. It was good to talk to her actually. As always. It's nice to know that there is someone out there with as sick a sense of humour as I have. Like me, she is a total loon!

I'm really glad that she had a good day. Made me feel kinda warm inside. What a twat I must be? Ah sod it - who cares?

Happy Birthday Crutchpiece!

xxxxx

It's Me!

2006-06-02T17:18:00.000-07:00

Hi guys.

Not much to start off with really. Some Berk in Fremantle got me into this blogging lark. Blame her if this is boring you already. Incidentally, it's her Birthday tomorrow - 6th June. She really is a berk. Happy Birthday Crutchpiece xxx.

I will be back with some information/news about me. just got to think of something vaguely interesting first!

ps - Good luck Maddy. I hope everything goes well on your travels! x