Slapper's World

Wednesday, May 09, 2007

Success!!!

At long last, I can post!

Well, it's been a while since my last posting. I had loads of trouble logging in. Prob because I am a fick Pommie Git.

But I still can't stop grinning. Some silly arse is going to be paying me a visit soon and I am so excited. I feel like a schoolkid again. And yes Berk - I have read the odd book or two without pictures! :P

Got loads of things to do now - shitloads of work to be done in the next month or two so I will be going nineteen to the dozen to make sure I get as much done as possible so that I can have some free time on my hands.

Ok - better get back to it. Just enough to say that I am excited and nervous at the same time.
Shit that feels good!

Can't wait to see you Crutchpiece!

RS XxX

Friday, January 12, 2007

Christmas has long gone...

This is just a quick posting as I am at work.

It feels bloody cold and windy here now. It's not that bad really - but having been in 28-30c for a couple of weeks over Christmas and the New Year, it just seems that way.

I did manage to get plenty of rest and the weather was pretty good so all in all I enjoyed it. However, I did miss some proper conversation. A berk would have been very handy.

Shit - I missed that more than anything.
This is for you kid. It's so good to see you again XxX

I’ll protect you from the hooded claw
Keep the vampires from your door

Feels like fire
I’m so in love with you
Dreams are like angels
They keep bad at bay-bad at bay
Love is the light
Scaring darkness away
I’m so in love with you
Purge the soul
Make love your goal

The power of love
A force from above
Cleaning my soul
Flame on burn desire
Love with tongues of fire
Purge the soul
Make love your goal

I’ll protect you from the hooded claw
Keep the vampires from your door
When the chips are down
Ill be around
With my undying,
death-defying love for you
Envy will hurt itself
Let yourself be beautiful
Sparkling love, flowers and pearls and pretty girls
Love is like an energy
Rushin rushin inside of me

The power of love
A force from above
Cleaning my soul
Flame on burn desire
Love with tongues of fire
Purge the soul
Make love your goal
This time we go sublime
Lovers entwine-divine divine
Love is danger,
love is pleasure
Love is pure-the only treasure
I’m so in love with you
Purge the soul
Make love your goal

The power of love
A force from above
Cleaning my soul
The power of love
A force from above
A sky-scraping dove

Flame on burn desire
Love with tongues of fire
Purge the soul
Make love your goal

I’ll protect you from the hooded claw
Keep the vampires from your door

Thursday, December 21, 2006

What a crappy December!

It's been a poxy month so far. I have been working my arse to the bone (again) with bugger all to show for it. Six times this month I have had a day off cancelled because of others not doing their work or they have called in sick. Fucking slackers are getting on my nerves. Some men think that if they sniff twice then they must have the worst case of flu ever and take three days off. Are all men complete wankers? This is a bit of a rant so forgive me. But I am pissed off with some of my colleagues at work. The hours I have put in recently have been a joke.

Well, now I am on holiday until the 8th of January and there is F.A. they can do about it. However, I am supposed to be on a plane now - and that has been delayed because of fog :( I must have been cruel as a child for the man upstairs to shit on me once again. Thank God I am an atheist!

I'm hoping to catch Crutchpiece before I leave. The minibus has been re-arranged to pick us up at 3am so I have a couple of hours or so. Fingers crossed here because I am going to miss her like crazy.

ok - logging off now because this is getting me down. I hear it's 28c and sunny in Tenerife so I hope it stays like that for the next two weeks.

I hope you get to see this sometime kid.

Have a great Christmas with Pete, Miniberk and Midiberk.

Have I told you lately, that I love you? XxX XxX XxX

Thursday, December 07, 2006

Another day, another grin

Just for a change, I have been working my bum to the bone lately. And that does not mean I have turned to the dark side Crutchpiece!

Work has been a bit hectic at times and a couple of people in the office have been pissing me off. But I am not going to let that get me down. An Aussie berk has kept me grinning a lot lately. Fuck knows how she does it - I have no idea. My cheekbones have been aching like mad. I called her at her office from the train home the other night. It was about 12.30. The only other people on the train looked like they had been to Christmas piss ups too. Most were asleep or about to fall asleep. Until they heard some drongo announce to the whole train that he goes by the name of Mr Dombrawski. What a dag. Still, it seemed to put a smile on her face. She sounds so much happier at the moment. I think it may be something to do with the fact that she has Midiberk and Miniberk to keep her company. (Whoever would have suspected that Berkism Australias runs in the family?) Midi is completely off her trolley. And Mini goes around wearing a bloody dress covered in boomerangs for Gods sake!

Feeling a little bit tender today. Throat consumed too much alcohol. Head felt it was on a rubber lilo in the ocean on a windy day. Still, who cares? I am in a good mood.

So what else is going on in Slapper's World? errrr Not much really. Apart from taking Sprog to see the quack next week. We have had a chat and I think it is sensible that she goes on the Jack & Jill. She has been with Gimli for the best part of two years now. They will not admit to it - but I'm sure they have been taking precautions whilst committing the deadly sin. However, I would rather if they were going to do it - they did it in a sensible way. Not that I am happy about them doing it at all - but I am just being realistic. Fuck it's hard being a Dad sometimes. I really feel like breaking his legs. Now that would be perfect birth control. However, I would probably lose a few years in prison and one daughter in the process.

That's about it really. Just sitting here, charging my IPOD - listening to some music that has recently found its way here from the Land of Berks.

OK time for bed before my carriage turns into a pumpkin in three minutes.

As you're probably the only muppet that ever reads this drivel - I shall wish you a good night Donna von Berk Archibald Willoughby of the Crutchpiece.

RS XxX

Thursday, November 16, 2006

40 things I love about you...

Your smile...




...and 39 farts!

Rod Stewart Darling lady xxxxx

Wednesday, November 08, 2006

Ho Hum

Another milestone is about to pass in the boring life of this old fart. Sunday 12th nov, I will be 40. Never thought I'd see the day to be honest. When I was a kid I thought that 40 was an incredibly old age. I wondered if I would ever live to be THAT old.

Last weekend I was busy sorting out a new bedroom for Taylor. I ripped up her old carpet and dismantled her wardrobes and drawers. I laid a new carpet and put together a double and triple wardrobe for her (How can anybody have so many clothes????????) and a chest of drawers. It has made her a very happy young lady and now that she has a flat screen TV in her own room, it has also given me the chance of getting hold of the Dibdob every now and then. (Dibdob = Remote control for the unitiated)

The guys at work have said we are going for a drink after work on Friday. I shall enjoy that but won't be drinking much as I have a busy schedule over the weekend. Up early to play golf on Saturday morning. Then get home and get all spruced up for a black tie function at the golf club. I don't look good dressed as a penguin. Doesn't finish until 1am, but again I won't be drinking much as I have a full schedule on Sunday. We have our annual Karate tournament on Sunday which will last all day, and I have another student in a big Cage Fight on Sunday evening. I won't be able to get there in time but hopefully I will get to see it on TV next week.

Sunday night I have the house to myself so I will at last be able to sit down with a beer on my own and relax. Lovely. Probably only the one though as I will be knackered. Have a bath and an early night. I will be able to relax next week though. I have been saving some holidays up from work so I am planning to get as much rest as possible next week. It's been a bit hard here lately.

Until today that is...
I walked into the office this morning to find a big, blue box on my desk. Hmmmmmm methinks. Whatevere could this be? Then I noticed that the box was upside down so it could only have come from an Aussie berk. Of course I was correct with this assumption. Smiles all round. Everyone gathered around my desk with puzzled looks on their faces and big, beaming grin on mine!

A collection of weird and wonderful pressies. Dog is going to be chuffed with probably the ugliest cows head in the world. Taylor will be stoked with whatever is in her package. And I am over the moon with mine. Several tunes to last until forever. Chocolate to keep me going. A whoopee cushion which was used very quickly on an unsuspecting colleague. (Nearly 40 years old and still laughing like a little kid at fart noises) And a dvd to laugh like a drain at. Damn my cheekbones are aching like mad here.

Thank you so much Crutchpiece! you have this wonderful habit of being able to put a smile on my face when nobody else can. xxxxx

OK - this berk has just logged on to msn so I am going to chat to her now.

See ya!

Sunday, October 15, 2006

Busy Time Lately

It seems as though I have hardly had time to do anything lately. Been so busy with work and all sorts of other useless rubbish. As well as some good stuff too.

Was at a meeting on Tuesday after work. Didn't get home until after 10pm. Wednesday I as teaching Karate and Cage Fighting after work and didn't get home until after 10.30pm. Thursday - A couple of guys and myself went to a party at the London Aquarium after work. What a great venue for a party! Standing there, drinking beers galore watching the sharks swimming all around us was pretty cool I must admit. On top of that, one of my colleagues (he shall remain nameless) took a fancy to a certain young lady (also remaining nameless) and disappeared to the loo for half an hour or so. It was his Birthday the following day so it seems as though she was giving him his pressie a little early.

Not sure whether I should say, "Dirty bastard" or "Lucky Bastard"? Anyway, several beers were sunk that night. Got home just after 2am feeling a little bit tender. Had to go to work on Friday with a very sore head. The Birthday boy eventually came in about an hour late. Dirty, lucky bastard.

Friday night - went to a 21st Birthday bash at a golf club. More beers. Feeling old now. Can't cope two nights running. And yes, another late night.

Saturday 14th - got up early to play golf. Head still a little bit fuzzy. Thought my eyesight was completely shot until somebody was gracious enough to tell me that it was actually a foggy day. What a relief that was! Golf was crap but not surprised there.

Saturday was also Midiberks Birthday Downunder. I hope she had a really great time with Miniberk, Berk and Pete (Not got a name for Pete yet) and Matt of course. I believe she is going to be an adoptive mother to No Nuts to be a friend for Inigo Montoya. Anybody not in the know trying to make sense of this paragraph - I implore you to give up now - you have no chance!

Saturday was another late night. Taylor (Sprog) is 16 on Sunday so we went out for a meal. Food was crap but couldn't complain too much because the waitress serving us was a friend of Taylor's and I didn't want to put her in a bad spot. Especially as it was her Birthday meal. Everyone came back to my gaff afterwards so they could watch her open up her pressies. Mainly clothes, but also a digital camera and a new flatscreen TV with built in DVD player. Hopefully that will keep her in her bedroom for a while so I can have use of the dib dob in the living room. (Remote control). ps I am fading badly now. I have a cold and not been sleeping much so I am really starting to feel tired and old lol.

Sunday - I didn't get out of bed until after 10am. Feel achy - but it's a good day. Taylor's birthday. Not doing much today. Last night was very late. Gimli stayed as usual but he had to get up early to go to football. I think he wanted a lift from me. I had to politely tell him to "Get a fucking bus you lazy bastard" and I think that is what happenned. I was too tired - sorry Gimli.
Looking forward to tonight. On Sunday evenings, Taylor and I have the house to ourselves and it is my responsibility to come up with a Sunday Special. Basically, I have to go hunting through the fridge, freezer and cupboards to come up with a concoction for Taylor to eat. Sometimes it is exotic - sometimes it's basic. But it's something we do every week and actually look forward to.

This is the first time I have managed to use the pc this weekend. So it looks like I am too late to catch the Berk. I am gutted about that actually because I miss talking to her. She is the only person I know that is as stoopid as I am. And I think she has plenty of spare hair she could let me have to replace mine. Besides - I would think that she would have had a busy weekend herself what with Midiberk's Birthday as well.

OK - logging off now. I hope you all had great Birthday's this weekend folks.

Take care all.

Rod Stewart my darling lady xxxxx